Son dad

golden early winter.

last week shown my more dependence on baby: 2 nights&2 days spent together
with baby son, &countless moments when alone enchanted by memories of gaming
on pc with the Spirit, baby son. the 2 weekends also saw baby started to
differentiate himself from some of my liked games, some occasions i had to
drag him to join our old games on the Acer notebook, from lingered in his
animation online. his mom quite addictive to QQ farm game, most of nights i
can imagine she left baby alone in animation while she busy with collecting
vegetables in the game i despised.
in the second half of the week, i saw quite of bliss from my girls. some
beautiful young lives in QRRS area re-appeared when i missing them days, for
they shown affection on me in these months while i felt i can't improve them
by weaving them into my closest life or family bond. but a radio in noon
break on Friday reminded me my expanding social graphic is family of Gospel,
is under God's shine, so never it turns burden for me, nor for my Royal of
China. for impossible is God, for plenty&peace of love is the ultimate
landscape sustains healthy&wealthy of people. my heart broaden by the
gospel, seeing Christian is the source of pleasure for anyone, seeing i can
exchange with girls that loves me with faith in goodness while i likely
passing them by.
this weekends full of games playing. i felt so exciting that a bit tired in
dorm after the 2 days. games brought me so many happy time, while my girls
longing for our gathering, that sometimes lets me sorry. but i trust God to
free me off anxiousness upon possible unbalanced response among endeared
callings. God, i don't want to be a nerd or geeky in the meaning for
self-indulge or self-entrenched, forever let beautiful things, including
human souls esp. of girls, enriches my life, upgrades my linkage with the
holy. God, never allow me failing my beloved, i entreat u.
BTW, in dawn of Saturday dreamed of lots of snakes under my clothes on my
body, caught one who biting my palm harmlessly. this dawn dreamed of being a
commander of Germany troop or some lateral organization, likely from the
game, lost horizon, i played with baby these days.

5/11/2010a night harbored near baby
i won a lot from web, as God grants. in office work time, clear most unread
feeds. left office soon after work over, buzzed baby for i felt touching
love&mercy on him in the dusk, found his mom stayed in her school while the
grandma there attending him. decided at once to go over to accompany him. he
was watching TV with his grandma when i arrived, his mom brought away the
game notebook, &the legacy desktop yet power on. so i turned on the
desktop&trying to show him newest games' trailer video. but his mom soon
returned. after dinner we joined our pastime games, succeeded some missions,
partially aided by online guide. his mom urged me to leave after some
gaming, but later allowed me to sleep on baby's bed, while the grandma slept
with her&baby son in bedroom. the night so happy till baby felt sleepy, for
he stayed 2 days at home for cold, &didn't nap in daytime as routine in
kindergarten. i busy with trying new games&theme packs on the Acer notebook,
after 10pm. in night i guarded in dream for my family. got up early but
don't felt exhausted. exchanged morning bliss with baby son, who got up
lately near breakfast, join office when it outside still like a frozen
weather. i hope i see sunshine later today, for time spent with baby son so
meaningful. God, bring me my new family with my girls. save my mother in
hometown who said dying ill.

4/11/2010mother's health reportedly
is a bright day. i read&d/l. refined hometown, Zhudajiu's google profile
even been blocked from saving changes for hours. the facing evil started a
business travel, while the monitor insisted closing office door to profane
nearby. God drove it away later, out of my notice. in night when i buzzed
baby, who still refused to receive my call, his mom told me my elder sister
from hometown told her my mother dying, &suggested me return to hometown. i
rebuffed, for economic reason as well as holy message. God, u see how my
life here meaningful. God, bring me my new family with my girls! i need a
family to cater to baby son, warrenzh, owner of, Hope of China.
i need a new family for the prosperous of new Empire of China reset. God, u

3/11/2010a night reunited with baby son&Asoh
sees my elation with game "medal of honor". left office with another bonus
from web&in time for dinner in canteen. the web answered via google our
problem in a game "lost horizon", can't help buzz baby when roamed outside
after dinner about the solution for the pinched mission in the game. but
baby refused to talk to me. in last Sunday dusk he shown reluctance to let
me leave, after a full day's gaming on notebook. so i sensed baby missing
me. near returning to dorm, i decided to visit baby&stay with him a night in
his mom's house. God grants my action. on the last bus, a girl student shown
me her tenderness, which aggravates my energy of sole presence. baby was
attended by his mom on his homework when i arrived. i waited silently aside
till he join me with the game "lost horizon", in which he insisted longer
than i expect to play. then i shown him game trailer of "medal of honor",
which quite refreshing him, among his mom's complain of late sleep. the
night i slept alone in baby's room&almost sleepless. dreamed of Asoh
Yukiko&our love making. it took longer time to satisfy ourselves in the
dream. also dreamed a graduated hometown girl. in dawn, talk to baby while
he on bedroom, that his everyday can not be more perfect in God's glory, &my
single task to expand our family on the earth. join office in bright
sunshine. God, bring me my new family to cater to baby's growth, God, i need
peace&luxury of family in new set.

2/11/2010a busy work
full of bliss. posted a blog to include baby son's photos in recent
gathering. posting was challenged by new spy&blocking network gears in the
company, likely just next floor in the same building, done narrowly this
morning. gays in office also exerted its best dirt upon me. but the fruit of
the day is sweet, no matter on stuff online or offline. in the night when i
roamed outside, sexual power lingered on me quite some time. this dawn i
woke up&sensed it again. i gradually recognized the source of the thick
desire. now its a brilliant early winter morning, God, bring my beloved to
me, let me join my girls in our new family! God, protect baby against
Son dad

1st snow of winter 2010, in shallow drain of hope from sins.

last weekends again i had only half of a day to stay with baby son, but much
rewarding. we found lots of pleasure in games, a small game even brought
baby son fun to probe it. the sinful grandma there peeking baby&exert ill
will upon the holy, lured baby son to try to defeat a boy student there
restlessly. she even called me to watch the ugly game. baby&me, we soon
joined watching a game trailer online together, while the old demon exile
without our attention. so did the boy student. after his mom returned, baby
yet insisted my trying another shooting game with him before i left, around
5pm when dorm's canteen serves dinner. that's really a gliding happy time
among us.
mother still in treatment, &i hardly judge the perspective of her survival.
God surely heard my call&affirmative to me. i kept it calling in in morning
after i got up in serial days. however, yesterday my cellphone ran out of
charge, so i buzzed in lately at noon, when i waiting baby's mom from her
school outside of her house, after visited telcom office. i talked with my
younger elder sister&her husband, who came over together to see our ill
mother. i told her again my budget of ¥20000 for mom's restore her
health&survives another 3 years. she laughed&let me just keep on my own
business, let hometown relatives on their own.
returned to QRRS dorms, i listened a sermon can't be more cohesive. after
let baby know my taking part in church on phone, i launched to try hdr
composition of photos. after tried some small warez, i soon found photoshop
is the most powerful tool, killing any small softwares. i continued to
export my panorama via photoshop with new trust on it. the dorm's lavatory's
re-furnish also finished, i enjoy washing&toilet first time since the
noisy&dusty project launched.
this morning when i first caught sight of the sky outside, i sensed it might
snowed. it did. so i shot some photos from my window at once, preparing a
blog for the saint moment. i once doubting the killing by the white angels
might hurt my mother in ailment, but i insisted God promised me. after
breakfast, on way to office, i buzzed hometown, empty on the phone in my
passed dad's house. but eldest brother talked with me on his mobile, said
mother's health got improved. kid brother, who always active, brought his
wife&son to the county, likely let mother alone in the old house. so far, i
can't gain more positive news from my concerned. God, let it enough&steadily
resuming to normal.
Its a bright morning now. i had problem with upload my photos entrenched by
China surveillance, but God helps it proceeding forward. God, care my girl
young&agile. bring my new life in our prime time. God, let me have the
ability to upgrade baby's homework to digitize it, let me later or sooner
buy baby a child mobile, for which he longing. God, bring sunshine in my
life here&in my hometown. enhance my kid brother's finance with a sound&ever
growing business he likes.

From life as it
From life as it
From life as it
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for google&flick blocked within China mainland for years, here some copy
hosted domestic.

echo of summer memory: happy seashore aside River Nen, where baby son played
months ago.
outside scene of benzrad's QRRS office: 1st snow&a shallow one in winter

See and download the full gallery on

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Son dad

morning sunshine saves my mother in dark hometown.

a blessing morning.^yesterday is a fruitful day. all things went smoothly as
expected. in the morning i buzzed dad's old house but empty. then buzzed
second elder brother, who simply told me mother getting better. i
laughed&told him my budget of ¥20000 for mom's survival another 3 years in
the world. he resolved&soon shut up. i worked in office immersed. then
eldest brother buzzed in, told me my kid brother returned from his
workplace, Guangdong, southern China, to Zhudajiu, &shifted mother to the
best hospital in Wuxue county again. such a relief!! sins in office
challenged me all day, but i more&more see the open space above the dirty
land. left office an hour earlier than work time, for the sunshine is gloomy
in later afternoon. in night in dorm, i reviewed the bravado of kid brother,
&sins in my second elder brother, who twice sent me to asylum while my kid
brother twice fetched me into normal world from torture&espionage&choking
asylum in China nowadays. quite some secrets the elder brother kept away
from me. i also saw the dark in mother's life&soul, while dad, God's silent
efforts to save me in years sufficiently. in dawn dreamed of mother. also
dreamed my baby son, or my kid brother, found infection in center of his
palm, i penetrated with needle&found a worm inside. i picked the worm into
my palm, which got infected at once, but disclosed the blister, a bird, or
at least a mouth like bird's beak nested inside. i killed it with needle at
once. waked up by cell's alarm, buzzed eldest brother&kid brother in
hometown. expressed obligation to kid brother's financial support for
mother's treatment, promised him my reward when my life renew&improved.
slept again till near 9:40am, when baby son finished his music lesson
nearby. rushed out of dorm to wait outside of the school, till we gathered,
told baby son the workable of ¥1500 budget for his homework's digitization,
explained him the merit of the solution. baby listened&raised some
questions. after he&his grandma took bus, i returned dorm to fetch my work
suite&join office. the restaurant near office with a sinful chef first time
refused my debt lunch, its a bliss for me, so i lunched in another pub. God,
i even urgent need a partner in my life here, bring my girls into our new
marriage. God, let me taste the wine of hub of harmony family life again! i
really missing it very much!

22/10/2010a milestone for mother in illness.^yesterday i kept busy most
time. buzzed in the beginning of morning, eldest brother in hometown talked
to me. i told him my plan of ¥20000 budget for mother's restore health&lives
at least another 3 years. in office, i finished keeping alive family skype
accounts, claimed a new one for China Democracy, the namespace God recently
encouraged me to sustain. read all day, left office near 6pm till web stuff
in pocket. a gay in dorm recently haunted around me, ignited my deep
vomiting upon the ugly&sinful. buzzed baby&arrange weekend meeting up. i
decided buzzing mother every morning in period of her staying bed. its a
bright morning. elder brother just told me mother's situation improved. i
laughed&emphasized my budget for them. God, bring me warmth of family, with
my mother, with my beloved baby, with my girls i trying to reach out so long
on the cyberspace, as well as for the emerging Empire of China reset for
1109 years in my title from my ancestor's bliss from God. God, i know, my
new life just descends on horizon like morning star. fresh&saint is her
name. God, u see.
BTW, found a photo of mother shot by amateur photographer equipped with DSLR
cameras visiting the village, Zhudajiu. i hope i can find the source
file. [image:
mother in focus of visiting amateur
its unique id is 058dc13b16c3c880954be4d3714b2aa5.
21/10/2010mother at hometown suffering Ascites&in lapse.^yesterday baby's
mom, emakingir talked to me when online about a passing life of her
colleague after 3 months suffering cancer. she suggested me buzz my hometown
relatives. i buzzed mother first, but empty on other side in air. then i
buzzed my young elder sister, who told me mother kept on bed for 3-4 days
after returned from hospital. i buzzed mother again, the wife of my eldest
brother there attending my mother received my phone, said hospital cost
¥3000 or more. buzzed second elder brother, he said mother likely dying,
&suggested let it go&inform me if thing go worse. i buzzed my eldest
brother, aiming to talk to mother via his cellphone for land phone is in
another room from my mother currently settled, but empty again. i insisted
buzzing dad's old house, and mother on her own received my phone about near
7pm. i urged her building stronger will power to survive, and our future can
be even brighter as time&God brings forth. mother complained cold&we stopped
chat in air. the night no doubt i saw many omens. before went to bed, i made
of mind that i loan from my 2 elder brother ¥20000 for striking death away
from our mother. in dawn, i buzzed to mother, eldest brother there talked to
me, i told him i will write bill within coming 20 years for ¥10000 for
mother, ¥5000 for 2 brother each, if mother survive the illness&aging for
another 3 years. brother admitted it, told me an aunt&her daughter visiting
my mother on bed. i tried to buzz younger elder brother but unavailable. i
hope my message arrives the moment i decided.
God, its so brilliant a morning. Dad, i know u beside me. save my mother&let
my world even stronger, let peace&glory surround my business here on the
planet under ur shine! God, let me do the right&timeless life forever
instilled in my beloved. God, bring my girls into my new life ahead, which
must be more enjoyable in soul&materially. God, raise my mother above
sins&ailments. God, be with me!
a bright&busy morning.^got up early to make water. woke up till sunshine
redden the higher building outside of my dorm's window. buzzed eldest
brother who attending in dad's old house about my support of ¥20000 in
budget for mother's survival among her illness now threatening her life, in
20 years ahead. in office activated family accounts with video chat site,, kept alive family accounts with skype&claimed some new for
family newer namespace. done in shines. then buzzed younger elder brother
about my financial wishlist against mother's failing upon aging&ailment. the
brother not so appreciate my act&shut chat abrupt. God, save my mother&bring
peace&glory in my world which so busy&meaningful. God, cast ur warm sunshine
over my ailing mother in cold&suffering.
benzrad's comment on the day.riots all over the mainland of China nowadays,
burning pains in Chinese
Posted by <>
benzrad zhu<>
to benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon
killing cadre&cop, China's machine dog system, is the most urgent task for
China nowadays. they can torn&swallow all Chinese on mainland as their prey.

靖西暴动(大图组图) - 人人网 校内-



saint and insane,
Posted by <>
benzrad zhu<>
to benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon
no one can save China mainland nowadays except the savor. sins&sink of China
never clearer&dooming than this moment in this event of Dr. Fang's

even sad upon the miserable Dr. Fang, new hope of China as an
by me, benzrad<>,
never more clearer&promising.





20/10/2010bright morning.^yesterday refined my blogger blogs' template,
corrected wrong auto post. in night after dinner went out to receive baby
son who had music lesson near QRRS Dorms. i talked to him about my efforts
ahead to digitize his homework by installing tablet&printer, including his
mom's old camera. his mom rebuff as usual but baby listened carefully&didn't
comment. returned to dorm, reviewed the plan. join neighbor dorm&taught some
pc skill, gays in&around let me have to clean myself by music from my
notebook. in dawn dreamed one of my alumni, a Wang, with his fake wife
visited me&tried to cheat us. my eldest brother also did. then in a cinema,
the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou, with his wife in a joint chamber talked to
me. his wife tested me with a riddle, turning out to let me fetch food for
its a brilliant morning. God, bring my new life with rich pleasure with my
girls. let me act in free of short of money.
Son dad

longing for sustainable life under Holy.

This is a gloomy morning. last night listened a strong sermon, but after
returned to dorm, i know the connection between dad, God with me, is my
treasure&never will be public like the bible. reviewing baby's smartness,
really felt painful for so many occasions i mistaken his wonderful beaming
response as stupid or meaningful. God, u know how dear my baby son,
warrenzh, owner of site, hope of China and God of Universe, is.
every moment in office i longing moment with him. every moment with him
brings so many touching warm memories. Its a gloomy morning, but i know my
second wife caring us. God, last night i met a girl closely, &her height
reminds me of my girl zhou, who once appeared in QRRS. God, i never gave up
her who is so pure&saint in ur care. God, u know how i love beauty, bring my
girls in their prime time, in my prime time, my Empire asking for the
blood-bond and shiny heirs.
also, as today in my second wife's share, i need a dell game notebook, about
¥6000, a udisk, ¥300, a mobile ¥800, domains renewal ¥2000, hometown duty
¥1000. God, let me act in freedom.
26/9/2010a day missing in sadness.^the most bright part today is around the
noon. endured waiting for d/l. office once colleagues tentatively shown
bonus dispatching among them. in the morning they summoned for meeting, i
kept busy on desk as usual, for i decided its high time to switch my living
support from the company, QRRS, a dying machine suffering fuel leaking by
stealing mouse flocks among its staff, to Masheng (Asoh Yukiko), my Japanese
Crowned Queen, my God of plenty&serene. cloudy usually let me indecisive,
but hopeful tomorrow will bring me unshakable faith&confidence. the night it
rains, cleaning&killing for me, sole for me, &so beautiful&formidable.
watched rain in dorm's door. bought food&met beautiful girls in QRRS dorms
but don't know where&who they r. roamed in dorm in music till after 10pm
went to bed. woke up before 5am. ate breakfast, abiding God's bliss&quite
enjoy it. its cool&bright morning. Masheng (Asoh Yukiko), stay every moment
with me!, bring our babies sooner in our marriage!
benzrad's commment on the day respectable Chinese lives

China nowadays greatly obliged to persons like Dr. Fang, any society needs
trust based on authentication. Dr. Fang is a real man, any Chinese should
pay him salute.

See this Amp at
via <>
benzrad's commment on the dayhuman right of net
hope sooner world nowadays adopts the human right of net access. human right
likely under the guidance of humanity, ie. the beneficial of human being.
as to a Chinese on China mainland, i hope net can be more
meaningful&positive impact upon the society's innovation.

the UN Human Rights Council to adopt five new Internet freedoms: freedom of
expression, of worship, from want, from fear, to connect.

<>Universal Declaration of
Human Rights <> (UDHR).
Freedom from slavery. Freedom from torture. Equal protection under the

from *Joho the Blog » The Internet as a human

See this Amp at by benzrad's

25/9/2010dreamed of hunting killer.^dreamed of Japanese again in dawn. then
dreamed passing Huangzhou, where i finished my senior middle school, in my
hometown journey. 2 alumni, a Wang&a Zhang, met me. the Zhang on way to ship
started to hunt for my life. its cloudy in this morning. sins in office
damaged my network wire&tentatively shown it loosely on my desk. dog by it
indicating of option to deprive me off Internet. fix it by replacing with a
wire i stored. God, kill the thief in office.

24/9/2010dreamed of Japanese family.^past 2 days with baby son in gaming
full of joys, esp we succeeded all mission in game "Army Ranger: Mogadishu
for PC". baby shared the moment reading the ending product message after
fury war field. today baby&his mom ema, who said will join family
gathering&rarely at home, so she suggested i busy with my own business,
don't go over to accompany baby. dreamed of Japanese in dream. its sunny
now. i hope i find fun today in office. God, let me connected with
pulse&atop game industry. God, rid baby of boring. let him meaningful in
silent moments in his life, like i do.

21/9/2010a sunny day with new cyberspace footprint.^yesterday is busy. in
night in dorm arranged claiming space for my hometown domestically, esp with
163&hexun, overnight. overseas profiles with yahoo&google already done years
ago. this morning got up even earlier, likely before 6am when i settled in
office. office sins both stayed at noon, while i enjoy the new space in
memory of my ancestor, Zhudajiu, 朱大九. God, see my works there&lasting
centuries, for ur glory under my ancestor since the Emperor of Ming Dynasty.
tomorrow is lunar Mid-Autumn Day. i longing now for gaming together with
baby son, warrenzh. sunshine already shines the valley&bees wooing for
delicacy. God, prepare me for the holy moment, for the gathering. my girls,
come&let's game, or make fun.

<> From life as it
<> From life as it
google&flick blocked within China mainlnad for years, here some copy hosted

Bright full moon after lunar Mid-Autumn day in sky above QRRS front

baby glad&turns playful with his new
See and download the full gallery on

Posted via email <> from zhuson, united US and China in
one under God's shine.
Son dad

peace above threats of violence and starvation

a bright day.^recent days dogs tried to exert terrorism over my cloudless
sky. prayer for Gog more frequently echos in my heart. the facing devil's
abuse in fact an accurate plot in its least cost to defame me, out of work
time&in drunk excuse. the next day after the show i left office 10 minutes
earlier before work time over, as God lets, visiting telcom office to
recharge my cellphone's prepay, also narrowly avoid the dog's second attempt
to sell its dirt safely, now that machine dog, ie. China police or
surveillance system promised keeping absent and worse, reward behind the
curtain any humiliation&violence against me. another day passed. then in
Sunday afternoon, the monitor, a gay now differentiate itself from its
previous team, stayed in office to spy if i dare to join office out of work
time, in face of possible abuse. i did as God lets, around 12pm&left near
5pm. the most sinful&repentless gay, the driver in facing office room, once
colleague but not now, haunted my office far more frequent these days,
monitor the well collectively money devised murder rolling forward. i see
more and closer glory of Son shines over me.
in the afternoon, the gay on facing desk challenged me to a historical
height. i just let it go&busy with my reading as God rules. its like its
last day in office in a short period for its said to start its paid
vacation, about 3 weeks. baby's mom, God lets me see clearer again her sin,
complained my deficit&refused again to loan me to buy a new udisk to replace
my wrecked one. she never risk to loan me more than 500rmb, even i bought
the family a new acer notebook of 4600rmb&let her using it now. i also
offered her 1900rmb to buy a e-bike but she lost it as i covered in previous
blog. i treat her with baby countless dining out, wash out thousand bad debt
in my financial book for exempt of what she claimed missing expense under my
title. all these done with my salary of ¥1100/month for 7 years, or start
from 3 month ago ¥1600/month, while she enjoy 2500rmb/month, and other gray
income as a common phenomenon in nowadays China. but never she trust me more
than 500rmb. she busy with tutoring every day at cost of her due housewife
duty but never report her earnings nor spent a coin from it for family
expense. God, never allows me to review if my mercy on her enough, she just
don't deserve. let she contented with her money&burning brain for increase
it, but just on the day of my glory, Son's fortune to cover&stem out solely
my baby son, God of Universe, Hope of China, to the most ready&blessed young
man in Royal of Holy. God, never on the earth there is a creature can stand
a split of second between baby son&me, the trinity; never the shine of Holy
can a human resist with bare eyes or blunt mind. God, dad, Masheng, this is
my prayer, my will to shine the land belongs to me, people under my feet.
now its a bright morning. i was so enchanted by the sunrise that i shoot
more photos for the moment. the sin on facing desk still lingering in
office. last night later than 9:30pm i buzzed baby son, told him no matter
his dad in or not in the world, he belongs to God&in the summon of God. no
one in the universe can beat his dad, and the Son, his dad, forever
accompany him, God. baby son apprehend it without a pause to let me don't
bother with perished situation any more.
From drifting life
From drifting life
From drifting life
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Get your own <>

for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated
sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.
bright autumn morning sunshine in QRRS dorms.
panorama of QRRS dorms in autumn dusk.

See and download the full gallery on posterous <>
Son dad

lavish summer wading.

Its a raining day this morning, exactly as Chinese lunar calendar indicting,
Chushu, 处暑, summer heat is over. i walked barely in rain with my work suite,
ie. notebook&camera, to join office, for every work day is meaningful for
me, cultivation, accumulation, and harvest. last afternoon it also rained
amid sunshine, its in fact a sun rain, i told baby its the most blessing
weather. we had a longest time in years playing pc games together and
succeeded most missions while his mom napped in another room. then we dined
out. here r the moment we gathered&dined. baby naught a lot in the dinner,
with his favorite food Guobaorou, flour coated pork. his mom these day
frequently complained enough of him. after dinner, the rain stopped, we
walked back, and i departed them on the ground near baby's mom's house.
after returned to QRRS dorms where i lingered for my new marriage, i
directly join local church from bus stop, listened a nice preach by the male
Priest, who elaborates more on bible, comparing his female pal who only
recited poems or quotation from bible. the preach again discussed strong
believing as my favorite. after the believers left, i expressed obligation
to the Priest, we both felt blessed. on the garden of the dorm, i buzzed
baby&his mom, who more and more felt at a loss in our once broken marriage.
i buzzed twice to encourage baby lives in patience to see the bright days,
for only with bitter or tasteless, we enjoy more the elation and sweat of
bliss when it pours in. quite some girls in the dorms haunted outside around
me. i can't say other but it all can't be more accomplished.
in the night, i roamed in dorm, reviewing my good time and ahead. sometimes
i can't but sang loudly. i also drank a bit. God, u see how close the day of
my wedding beset. my baby son badly need a new mother to cook him delicacy.
i badly need a soul of girl accompanies&shares our love to u, the Mightiest.
God, rid me of anxious, bring my girls to me, to my new Empire of China.
That's my another happy weekends.
Ps:delayed so long since last morning for the publish of photos via email,
yet can't finish blogging before including the link of the album. read all
time. later chatted with baby's mom, who prepared baby's profile photo for
his music lesson. it turns sunny or cloudy since noon. God, saves the
beautiful day with my works. save my Royal of China, the saint of my Empire
of China.
From farewell to lavish
From farewell to lavish
From farewell to lavish
View all<>
Get your own <>

for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated
sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.
benzrad, 朱子卓, in restaurant amid a sunrain, shot by warrenzh, 朱楚甲.
baby son posed for shot for an profile photo for his music class, after
dined out.

See and download the full gallery on posterous<>
Son dad

silence to make change.

These days find more pleasure in baby, the God of Universe, who in dream
informed me he is indeed my dearest son in our trinity. he enjoys more under
my custody, and i tried my best to cater to his play. these days our main
play is pc game, dined out, but i planned to bring him haunt more places,
like garden, zoo, library, asylum, etc. God, equipped me with adequate
courage, financial support, and interesting places&persons. God, times
belongs to baby son, God of Universe, Hope of China, can't be more
wonderful. God, sees our journey!
its a cloudy Sunday morning. i enjoy late sleep, got up after 10am. in
restaurant before served, i deeply missing baby son, worried if he felt
lonely or boring. the lunch was quite delicious, but God urged me to act to
rid baby from boring or motionless. on way to office, i buzzed him, his mom
shown irritation and impatient as usual, but baby son glad to accept my
suggestion to visit municipal library next weekend. God, u know how i love
and endear baby son, Masheng, u know how lovable baby son is, cared my baby,
let him enjoy staying on the planet!
its now mostly bright outside. i don't want repent, God, let me active. this
weekend i will busy with my posting, but i would promise here i will bring
more fantasy to baby who still in comprehension to the world. God, don't let
me unsettled.

13/8/2010my e-payment now ready.^read on cleaner os&felt glad. tried to
reclaim one of baby's 163 accounts,, which stealed months
ago, but failed. at noon registered an account with ChinaPost and bound it
with my alipay account, recharged it ¥40. now i can pay overseas bills. the
sins in office challenged all time, esp. the dirty monitor, stayed at noon
lately. later they babbled about cadres' promotion within the company. the
facing dog tried every chance to show his orthodox, likes a monkey in
clothes. they stayed in office after work time, but soon called to
gather&left to celebrating the personnel changes refered above, which likely
including their close friends' promotion. i sorted stuff from web&felt glad.
leaving office before 5:30pm in bright sunshine. the dorms' canteen
deteriorating, sold out so early the prepared meal, forced me to order to
cook my dinner, which cost me ¥18 even there is nothing delicious nor enough
of food, while a common ready meal only costs ¥6. for the garden bench
occupied by a male, i roamed out first, then rest for a long time till dusk
almost cover the garden of the dorms. sorted portable in dorm. God, the land
of China is my property, all trades of cadres in nowadays China is
baseless&disappear in my emerging Empire of China. brings my girls, my
crowned Queens sooner, God. in these beautiful silent moments in echo of ur
holy, i trust u let my elation of reunification among my beloved sooner
descending me.
12/8/2010 enjoy toast mutton stick with baby&his mom. dreamed of
Masheng.^read most day while d/l. tried gmail new interface in afternoon.
sorted contacts then&backup. chat with hometown folks about weather, my
works online. visit telcom office before leaving for baby for my ill
cellphone which recently can't access wap via gprs, but the clerk woman
didn't figure it out. dined with baby son&his mom near their house, with
toast mutton. i ate enough mutton till full. told baby how i missing him.
ema invited me to eat watermelon in her home, so i accompanied them return
there. returned to dorm after it turns cloudy, rest awhile on bench, then
decided to inquire my bank account to verify my alipay's account for real
person behind my ID there. restored os in night, for the windows lagging
heavily in afternoon. God, saves my works.
this dawn dreamed of college alumni gathering. then dreamed of Masheng, my
Crowned Queen of Japan, who once studied in Nankai Univ with me. dreamed
searching her thesis&found 2 or 3. one is about Chinese traditional works,
"the art of war" by SunTzu. other thesis i forget now but likely touched our
its a brilliant morning now. yesterday when i took bus to meet baby, its
drizzled while sunny, so amazing fresh; in night when i sat side by side in
a neighbor dorm room with a new QRRS graduate&watching movie on his
notebook, he had to cross his legs soon to avoid my presence, then a
thunderstorm poured in, informs me how i different from common people. God,
brings me my girls i deserves.
11/8/2010 a bright&fresh day.^found another google account hacked&break-in.
first time tried google's multi-logon. read most day. the gay monitor
profaned heavily, lasted near 5:30pm. God sees their scattering&deeper hell.
enjoyed stuff from web. fixed broken autoposting. trying to correct wap
settings on my cellphone which recent suddenly can't surf, but failed. the
shit dog in neighbor room again lied&refused to help my referring his cell's
settings. that all let me sees clear the dying department. in night lectured
in a neighbor dorm to new QRRS graduates about cellphone's os, people's
power to change world with their spendings. its a bright morning now. i see
God's blessing upon me&my girls.
10/8/2010 evil knocks door.^read all day. one of my google account,
benzillar under attacks&broke. gmail warned me the break-in&let me reinforce
it with new password. i did, in God's blessing i left my other web assets
intact in God's judge. its all day gloomy. after dinner i sat on the garden
bench again, then roamed outside. i felt need more heat so i decided to
snack with toast mutton on way back. i buzzed baby's mom, who brought baby
son haunting KFC, want to treat them with the snack with me, but they
rebuffed. a winter is striding toward us, i foreseeing i need more expense
on meat. God, saves me from last year's embarrass of penniless. bring me a
warm&richer family sooner, in ur holy. slept just after 9pm. this morning
dreamed of kid brother. there is wet ground so likely it drizzled again in
dawn. but its quite bright when i ate breakfast. now its cloudy.
9/8/2010 a lengthy rain.^the rain started last afternoon&lasting so far. i
felt so many love&obligation with Masheng, my second wife from Japan.
yesterday i finished raw setup with my new domain,, which now
blocked by China authority after a day's freedom of access, near 3pm. the
task let me missed lunch. in dusk i felt restless, i asked myself what i
lack, only my Royal, my beloved girls! the night's preach in local church is
on lily by a woman Priest. i sensed my girl approaching me&my new life
budding. God. sees my girls bypass turbulence&join my arms in the near end.

still changes&resolution to
still changes&resolution to
still changes&resolution to
still changes&resolution to
View all<>
Get your own <>

for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated
sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.
benzrad, 朱子卓,ate toast mutton in a Korea style restaurant, shot by baby son,
warrenzh, 朱楚甲, hope of China.
baby son, warrenzh, 朱楚甲, with his proud mom, emakingir, amid a dine out.
baby son, warrenzh, 朱楚甲, God of Universe, fought against his proud dad,
benzrd, 朱子卓's kiss, amid a dine out.

See the full gallery on posterous <>

Posterous <> is the place to post everyt
Son dad

bliss descends with new domain,

its drizzling when i breakfast in QRRS dorms canteen&heading to office in
this weekend. this dawn i had a wonderful dream. i first dreamed of matching
in dark. people were put in dark&sex with matches reached in dark house. i
trying to find my mate but didn't excite. then dream raising a fish, namely
likely Giant salamander, then in an exam to report on the fish. i always
hate exam. after exam, i saw a younger fish accompany the fish we raise, the
latter then has its gender. then i informed that the fish's tail and meat
above shouldn't be eaten as a custom. woke up&reviewing baby's asking not to
be God sometimes those days, i was so blessed that baby son, warrenzh, God
of Universe, exactly my son, my dearest son. the bliss so great that i got
up at once. a drizzle already passed over just amid my dream, after i made
water in dawn. the breakfast is plausible, includes a sweat pie. on way to
office, it drizzled again, so many loves from Masheng, my Crowned Queen of
yesterday i visited baby son in his mom, emakingir's house. ema still in
loss in her refusal loan of 400rmb to let me buy family 4th domain, ( ). i criticized her in our QQ chat. but my
Taiwanese friend help me after rebuffed me once buy the domain exactly
yesterday as i suggested in memory of Masheng, who long time urges me to own
continents against future world disaster. ema buzzed me twice but both
didn't reach me in noisy situation. soon after i arrived there, i told i
need her loan, which greatly relief her. she lost 1900rmb and more last
weekend when she answered my call on way to River Nen with baby son. that
money was offered by me to buy her a e-bike to carry baby son route his
kindergarten, for ema complained baby grows that she hardly carry him with
her old bike. its all time a bright Saturday, i also showered in public
bathroom. baby enjoyed ice cream&candy i bought by the way. i backup stuff
from web, tried new games on his notebook. baby glad to see the fresh game
experience. near 3pm, i hold him slept on my shoulders. then held him on my
arms, till later shifted to bed. his mom urged me to leave, so i returned to
dorm, where i ate an early dinner.
in reviewing the glory of my family, my heart often fulfilled with proud.
God, the only missing is my beloved girls, esp the girl on the train when i
returning to Qiqihar from my dad's hometown, back to Jun 5,2010, and my girl
Zhou, once appeared&hunted after by me till the company startled&stopped me.
i know they praying for me, bring us together, God!

6/8/2010 cloudy morning with periodical sunshines.^for no available helping
hands for loan for my new domain, i decided trying alipay, a Chinese copy of
paypal. waiting the process finished to let me pay overseas. this morning is
cool, but periodical sunshine very bright&aspiring. sorted stuff, activated
baby's mom, emakingir's 163 mobile email box, retouch her signatures. its
the first day the company complies new national common exercise ordain.
China steadily falls into trifle&loosing off&losing end. the old time
collective exercise helps none but the dead in chamber, kills nothing but
time&creativeness. See this Amp at 5/8/2010hopeful
a new domain join my titles soon.^read. talked to Taiwanese friend for loan
to buy a new domain for my web id. sorted bookmarks to include it&backup.
backup family google knol to zoho wiki. sorted stuff before dinner. in dorm
prepared confidential for family new member site. its a pale morning. 2
friends rebuff my plan of buy the domain. i had to delay the registry. dozed
awhile after lunch, dreamed of losing in exam, which i dislike very much.
4/8/2010dreamed of new domain buy&restless reckons of debt.^read. refined
autopost to posterous among family amplify accounts. got "starcraft Ⅱ"
finally, amid praying God for pardon me lingering in office for games.
played badminton with the couple whose wife worked in neighbor office after
dinner. baby didn't talk to me in daily buzz. dreamed of buy one or two
domains for my web id, indecisive upon the cost, for my poor financial
status hardly supports. join office earlier than 7am. a pale morning like
yesterday but still i felt Masheng's love. God, what's the gap between our
3/8/2010warned of vilification from familiars.^last afternoon chatted with 2
young folks from Zhudajiu, my hometown. one serving in Chinese Navy. in
night God notified me of stab from the back by folks seemingly intimates.
dreamed a lot in dawn. sorted os after found its infectious. China
surveillance blocked my os auto-update for quite some cases, till i adopt a
lan proxy&done. office turns a hell at noon, for all crews stayed, just aim
to espionage&challenge me. felt glad with a cleaner os. Masheng, save my
Son dad

new hope of peace, party and timeless love.

the journey from my hometown, Zhudajiu, to Qiqihar, where baby son,
warrenzh, lives with his mom, emakingir, cost me 3 days. ticket was bought
by the sinful nephew who hated me for a long time against the glory my
family shines. i had to accept the slowest train. its my first time seeing
the new train station of Wuchang, one section of Wuhan. the waiting hall
quite jammed, but i met a woman foreigner&exchanged some words. on the train
i chatted with quite some interesting people, including some kids from Hunan
Prov., a disgusting squad from Xiaogan, Hubei Prov., a cute kid girl from
Hebei Prov., and a wine vendor who migrated from Qiqihar to Hebei for more
than 10 years. near Harbin, 6 or 7 Muslim from Pakistani aboard, some of
them play hide-and-seek with neighbor Chinese boys. i was touched by the
kindness, so lately join them&discussed bible with them in English. with the
holy shines over me, i caught in the last minute&aboard the train to Qiqihar
from Harbin. a tall girl stood against the corridor greatly enchanted me, we
gazed to each other for quite some time, and the holy bliss, with drizzle
outside, enlightened most of the lounge. i followed the girl after we left
the railway station, and told her my Chinese name before we departed. how i
missing her, who should marry me now as my second Chinese wife. gathering
with baby son was a saint moment. he refused to receive me when i knock out
his mom's door. after i bathed in public bathroom he picked me and played
with me. he beat me with his shoe for quite some time till his mom halted
him. i lingered in his mom's house for a week, neither office nor public
presence. baby still arranged by his mom to attending his kindergarten. we
gamed on pc for quite some hours. i promised him if his mom don't drive me
away, i will stay till seeing he sleep alone in his room, instead of sleep
with his mom now in his room, and shower with me in public bathroom. i also
make it clear to his mom, emakingir, that we r free of any obligation with
each other. i told her i would like to live in dorm as soon as baby sleeps
on his own, while at this stage she didn't grant baby sleeping apart from
baby son always has the best idea. last Saturday he suggested family
haunting Lun river, which a half of hour bus from his mom's house. and i
long time since return from my hometown journey suggested letting me treat
baby son with his favorite restaurant. baby likes buffet as usual. ema
arranged it around 2pm in Sunday. its really a bright tour, we babbled a lot
on the bus, waved lots of bubbles in the river Lun, shot lots of wonderful
photos in the river. and when ema felt hungry, baby narrowly agreed to
leave, with the promise we will return there next week. in buffet i
completed my dinner soon, while ema prolonged the pleasure as her best. the
coffee really nice, arrest both of the adult in the family. God sees. now i
first time enjoy surfing under my account since the tour back to Qiqihar.
surely brighter the sky above me and my Royal of China.

1/7/2010God brings me back.^prepared recent photos for posting in early
morning. then elder brother informed the Internet account again resumed by
its subscriber. retouched logo for site, for original design's
source file missing within my backup. the sister-in-law join the CCP's
party&asked mother went over to help her caring her grandson. Watched TV
after lunch&dozed awhile, then had the idea to return Qiqihar, now that the
heat here a bit daunts me. God arranged it all right. informed baby's mom,
emakingir. also asked elder brother to speed up to find me a Internet
solution for a week when i can search traffic&ticket information to back to
Qiqihar. its the most strong sunshine today in my this hometown journey.

30/6/2010dreamed of dispute with ema over baby's custody.^dreamed of
touching love with baby. his mom attempted to dispare us, and accused of my
mental disorder history. walked through a neighbor factory with seemingly
another man, baby son or other person let me unease, where workers gathered
discussing my situation. passed their rest room&woke up before leaving the
roughly setup family 3rd domain,^got up earlier, lauched soon
newly claimed domain,'s site content on registrar's free host, as
well as Google apps for it. remapping url for blog,www, etc. roughly clone
family 1st domain,'s content to the new site. claimed groups with
vodpod with family most namespaces. backup bookmarks&settings for portable.
quite fruitful this morning, which is sunny.
a rich dinner, brewing pork with corn.^attending d/l most day. quit near
5pm&felt hungry. dinner quite rich, corn is very sweet&juicy. it rained late
afternoon but stopped after dinner. hope baby&his mom can come over to taste
delicacy here. most night reading.

29/6/2010enjoy&suffer for d/l.^got up&let d/l, then napped again till
breakfast. read most day. in late afternoon prepared content for new domain,, but disappointing logo's source file evaded among my backup. it
drizzled in afternoon but last no more than an hour. backup stuff from web.
sunburn awhile, talking with Masheng on busy&leisure. hope i can make time
more meaningful.
a rich dinner&video chat.^haunted outside before dinner. again walked alone
the road connecting the village. i really missing baby son&hope he visit
here next month, God, u know. drank at dinner, among neighbor's female
watching. it drizzled then. watched awhile TV, then chatted with baby&his
mom online. i sure will see their journey in end of July to dad's hometown.
benzrad's comment on the day.benzrad朱本主子卓 (

28/6/2010finally got haircut.^mother woke me up to go haircut. she said she
met a guy who last dusk promised to send me to market to haircut.
prepared&went to see those motor drivers. the guy was absent in his new
house, while elder brother, who also has a motor, repairing a phone. the
youngest son of the dark house in front of my dad's house, ready to leave
for his workshop, so he fetched me&left me on the only barbershop on his
way. but i waited for almost an hour before the barber arrival. i shot
photos before&after haircut, felt glad. washed hairs at home before
breakfast. now surfing. its cloudy now.
mother bought pork.^read most day. arranged more to d/l. dozed twice. its
sultry&drizzled in late afternoon. mother trusted the cousin back of dad's
house to bought pork from city, for he owns a truck&commutes. dinner is
delicious with pork&kelp.
a talkative night.^watched TV while attending d/l. sms sally as God lets.
chatted with baby&his mom,who want to try qq games. i warned her the
risk&sin of domestic warez, introducedfacebook's plan to join China&persuade
her be patient. also teased baby son.
benzrad's comment on the day.benzrad朱本主子卓 (
---so strong the claim. that's the superb of constitution, and the reason of
human. that's bible that saves the world sometimes so dark in history and
coming eras, as well as new land in never seen glroy.
in reference to: "That is how a judge lives in a state of trust, and I know
of no other way to make good on the aspirations that tell us who we are, and
who we mean to be, as the people of the United States." -
on Google Sidewiki)

27/6/2010backup baby's anniversary photos on sohu blog to other
blogs.^attending d/l most time when i read. a nephew returned from his
college in Wuhan, visited me, talked about his major. then discussed Chinese
society nowadays. i doubting surveillance so quit later&engaged again on
web. the devil, neighbor son, visited&trying to talk, left after rebuked.
after dinner download photos shot in baby's one year on the earth hosted on
sohu blog portal to other blogs, including baby's mom, emakingir's 163
blogs. lingered in waiting room waiting d/l finish. didn't talk to baby for
too busy.
managed to catch up unreads in greader.^got up earlier for a d/l. read then
napped awhile aside desk in front yard. backup stuff from web. supplement
yesterday's log&delayed likely by surveillance, which results in periodical
unaccessible for some sites. first time in this summer ate water melon.
dozed again after lunch while d/l. tried to contact concerned, sms sally,
buzzed baby's mom, emakingir, about her vacation. baby again accused my old
curses even i can't figure out when i did, but i sworn not in future&sorry
for the passed. its a bit funny why baby remembered i cursed him while i
only remember holy love&deeds between us. nothing more important than him in
my life.
arranged haircut tomorrow.^prepared pc to finish d/l a large game. dinner is
rich. haunted outside&shot photos for kids in village. fetched wire fork to
wind wires bought recently. the state grid worker in village offered the
fork, better than i expected. tried to meet elder brother to let him send me
next morning to local market to haircut but failed. a guy promised to do it
for me. roamed alone the road&chatted with a precast panels producer in his
workshop. watched TV after bath&sorted stuff. baby&his mom went outside,
returned near 9pm. she promised to talk online but didn't.

From 1st weekend's treat after reunited,
From 1st weekend's treat after reunited,
From 1st weekend's treat after reunited,
From baby's bath in his dad's arrival from
From baby's kindergarten show in
some slideshow from recent family activities
View all<>
Get your own <>
View all<>
Get your own <>
View all<>
Get your own <>
View all<>
Get your own <>

some home videos
family enjoy baptism in river Nen and buffet

family baptized in Nen river, enjoy buffet on way
from benzillar <> on Vimeo <>.
family showered in weekend at home.
baby's kindergarten party just upon his dad's return from hometown journey.

for picasaweb&flickr blocked within China mainland, the shit&dog dominated
sinful land, here some digest of photos hosted domestically.
some lily in Zhudajiu's old fish pond.
baby son, warrenzh, owner of domain, in his kindergarten's
benzrad just got haircut in a nearby village in his hometown journey.
family dined in KFC after baby son asked for it.
panorama of Nen river shore.

See and download the full gallery on posterous<>